Confessional

Yeah, I haven’t blogged in a while. And given the name of this blog, I’m rather basking in the shame.

After peaking at 24 pounds lost, I took a weeklong trip to San Diego–for a work event–and fell HARD off the wagon. That, and a new school schedule (I’m working on my master’s degree), and feeling frustrated and put upon at work… led to…

Binge eating again.

I’m so mad at myself, and I know that’s not productive. It’s like I’m two different people, the one who’s conscientious and healthy versus the one who will shovel as much food into my gullet as it will take.

So I’ve gained 6 of the 24 pounds back during these three weeks, and in the interest of transparency, I guess I need to punch all my counters in the face and set them back to 18 pounds.

But I also have to give credit where it’s due. Concerned folks over at @wwtweets have been shooting me notes — you’re too quiet on this front, how are you doing, etc. Even my husband hasn’t noodled me about not checking in with him about my progress, partly because I haven’t gained any inches per se during this backslide, I guess. But…

I’m upset with myself, but in trying to get back with the program this week, it worked ok for two days, and then four days of stupid.

So I’m going to focus again on the blogging, not bingeing cogntive approach.  Geneen Roth writes that “binges are ways in which we allow ourselves to go unconscious, to get away from the concerns of day to day life and plunge into oblivion for a few minutes.” She suggests that we find other ways of meeting this need.

She encourages us to take a 15- minute plunge, with examples like reading two chapters from a book, etc. My fifteen minute plunge is going to be blogging. Fifteen minutes blogging a day. And here’s hoping, that you, dear readers, will share your fifteen minutes with me.