This morning, I actually made my 25 lb. lost goal. It’s normal to not gain weight during the first trimester, and I’m actually heartened to know that I’m doing some things right, because I tend to think that by ending my binge-eating tendencies I will lose weight regardless of what state I’m in. Yesterday sucked, foodwise, though. I was ravenous on the way home and had nothing to nosh on, so I fell down the rabbit hole and hit a drive-through. Big mistake. By the time I got home, I felt heavy and stupor-ish as if I’d been run over; I felt overfull and lethargic and exhausted. It kind of blows my mind that I used to eat that kind of crap all the time–sometimes more than once a day, and sometimes more than one meal at a time.
But I stood on the scale after my shower and it very cheerfully told me that I weigh 190 lbs. When my husband and I got married, I weighed about 220, and on the day I made a decision to stop the insanity, as Susan Powter used to say, I weighed 215; that was around my birthday.
Now I don’t need to diet, and I’m maintaining beautifully in spite of slip-ups like last night. It’s nice to have freedom to eat, but I absolutely cannot regress to binge girl.
This had become a bit of a weight loss blog, but I originally started writing here to address my binge eating problem. Even though now I have gone back to about a 2,500 calorie/day diet, it’s still very important for me to follow the structure I had imposed on myself and to avoid the temptation to eat large quantities of food in one sitting. It’s entirely possible that even with the slight backslide I experienced in February, that by resuming normal eating habits around November or so I may well have set myself up for this brilliantly. For one thing, I am starting at 190 lbs instead of the 220 I was at last summer. It’s even possible that my change in diet made me more fertile.
Plain and simple, though, it was through m own carelessness that this happened, and while I’m not exactly prepared, I’m not exactly upset, either. Hubby is a bit more disoriented, but we’re getting there.
I still believe that natural family planning (which we’ve been using since 2005) is a very safe and effective way to get pregnant or avoid getting pregnant. It’s just very important that if the latter is your goal to check for ovulation signs BEFORE you wind up in the frisky, not after! And at least my knowledge of my cycle tipped me off that I could be pregnant even before a test could. In that respect, I was both pregnant and not pregnant until I got a confirmation of one thing or the other, a situation which we laughingly called Schroedinger’s Baby.
So anyhow, this blog is still about learning to eat right again. And it’s even more important now that I’ve got someone else along for the ride. My goal is to come out on the other side in even better health, and when you consider that I was eating some 6,000 calories a day up until last October, I think the odds are pretty good that I will.
Those of you who know who I am, this is not to be shared with the general populace yet.
Oops.
16 years and 50 weeks after the last time I got one of these…
My upper arms are hideous, and for some time now have been the most visible aspect of my overweightness. So I was very happy when I busted out the tape measure today and found that my upper arm measurement was 14.75. It’s the first time it’s been under 15 in the last couple of years. Other measurements that came down were my chest and my hips, but my waist and thigh were a bit up. Ah well, just color me scrambled Skiffly.
Also, my body fat reading was lower today than it has been in the short time (about 10 weeks) I’ve been able to measure it: 41.5 percent.
I like these milestones! And each one is a victory!
So, I’ve been staunchly plateaued–and I didn’t even want to look at the last time I reported a weigh-in until I broke through it. It wasn’t the kind of plateau in which you have tried everything and the scale doesn’t budge — as I’ve mentioned in recent posts, I was making bad choices and falling off the wagon.
Now, when last I weighed in, I had just crossed the 10 percent threshold, and I’ve been frittering around that line during the 7 weeks since. I had hoped to have lost 30 lbs by February, but I couldn’t shake the bad behavior until I STUCK myself to the program, which I started doing last week. Wasn’t much to show for it last Friday, but this week:
This week, however:
Weight Tracking Summary
| Your current weight : | 191.3 lbs |
| Weight change since your last recorded weight | | -4 lbs |
| Total weight change to date | | -23.7 lbs |
I have been down as low as 190 this week, so I’m quite sure that magic #25 is in my sights for next week, as long as I don’t do anything squirrely.
I love those bags of precooked grilled chicken breast for making dinner fast! Tonight it has been a spicy chicken chop salad, and since I love you all so much, here’s the recipe. I plugged it into the recipe builder, and like most of my chicken salads, it’s 4 points per generous serving. For a little extra zing and bite, crush up seven Garden of Eatin’ Red Hot Blues chips and toss those on top before serving for an extra 1.5 points.
Ingredients:
- 10 oz mixed greens (1 bag)
- 1/4 cup(s) shredded carrots
- 1 large tomato(es), coarsely chopped
- 2 large cucumbers, peeled and chopped into 1″ dice
- 1 large sweet red pepper, coarsely chopped
- 1 cup(s) frozen corn kernels, cooked and cooled
- 1 oz Cabot 50% Reduced Fat Monterey Jack, shredded or finely cut up
- 1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
- 1/2 cup(s) fat-free Italian salad dressing
- 12 oz grilled chicken breast strips (the frozen, precooked kind), cooked without fat
Toss the vegetables together along with the dressing and vinegar. Divide into four bowls, top each with 3 oz. chicken and the chips if desired. Serves 4!
A note about the cheese: Buying reduced fat block cheese actually gives you more control in using cheese to add flavor and fun. (And Cabot knows how much I love them, so another shout-out to them.) With a little practice with a kitchen scale, you can learn to slice off about a half ounce at a time. Take two of these slices, cut them in half lengthwise, and then chop the cheese along the length into “grated” size pieces. Then toss them into the vegetables. (This technique is also good for generating just enough cheese for a small, light quesadilla, a great thing to make on the side for the kids.)
And yes, did I mention that I create these kinds of salads regularly? Sometimes I think I could do an entire book of tossed-up lightness.
(Hint, hint, publishers…)
Food diary, that is.
Today I cooked two meals for myself, even though my husband was home. When I cooked breakfast, he was out for a walk getting breakfast elsewhere. When I cooked dinner, he had already gone to bed. It’s ok, there will be leftovers for him tomorrow. What I figured out today was that half the secret to being a good cook is having the right tools.
Over Christmas, I had asked for, and mom had sent, good omelet pans. I’ve never been a fan of egg-based dishes, but my husband loves eggs and always orders an omelet when we go out for breakfast. So, I started doing research on them around the same time I started having a 2-egg breakfast as part of my “at-home breakfast” weight watchers routine. Cooked without fat, 2 eggs are 4 points and really work as a “filling food.” (My preferred on-the-go breakfast is a Fiber One oats and chocolate bar, but I’d really like to figure out what aspect of those things upsets my lower GI tract sometimes and figure out a decent substitute with the same filling power. )
Anyhow, back to the eggs. As I ate eggs more regularly, I found myself experimenting with them more, and became very curious about making omelets. Enter Mollie Katzen’s Sunlight Cafe
That, along with some buttered toast and jelly, made for a hearty 11 point breakfast–late as it was, practically a brunch. So when midday — 4ish–arrived I actually had the Fiber One bar and a quick low-fat hot dog for a 5-point “lunch,” and I snacked on radishes and carrots through the afternoon as well.
But then I got it into my head to make Skillet Cincinnati Chili with Spaghetti out of The Best Cover & Bake Recipes
At any rate, 26 points for the day and I feel very well-fed. Even spoiled. I should have had more vegetables than the snacks, to be sure, but tomorrow I’m going to make my super special balsamic chicken and avocado salad.
Yeah, I haven’t blogged in a while. And given the name of this blog, I’m rather basking in the shame.
After peaking at 24 pounds lost, I took a weeklong trip to San Diego–for a work event–and fell HARD off the wagon. That, and a new school schedule (I’m working on my master’s degree), and feeling frustrated and put upon at work… led to…
Binge eating again.
I’m so mad at myself, and I know that’s not productive. It’s like I’m two different people, the one who’s conscientious and healthy versus the one who will shovel as much food into my gullet as it will take.
So I’ve gained 6 of the 24 pounds back during these three weeks, and in the interest of transparency, I guess I need to punch all my counters in the face and set them back to 18 pounds.
But I also have to give credit where it’s due. Concerned folks over at @wwtweets have been shooting me notes — you’re too quiet on this front, how are you doing, etc. Even my husband hasn’t noodled me about not checking in with him about my progress, partly because I haven’t gained any inches per se during this backslide, I guess. But…
I’m upset with myself, but in trying to get back with the program this week, it worked ok for two days, and then four days of stupid.
So I’m going to focus again on the blogging, not bingeing cogntive approach. Geneen Roth writes that “binges are ways in which we allow ourselves to go unconscious, to get away from the concerns of day to day life and plunge into oblivion for a few minutes.” She suggests that we find other ways of meeting this need.
She encourages us to take a 15- minute plunge, with examples like reading two chapters from a book, etc. My fifteen minute plunge is going to be blogging. Fifteen minutes blogging a day. And here’s hoping, that you, dear readers, will share your fifteen minutes with me.
| Your current weight : | 193.2 lbs |
| Weight change since your last recorded weight | | -4.4 lbs |
| Total weight change to date | | -21.8 lbs |
 |
You reached your 10% Target!
You just hit your 10% Target. Great work! Now, put this accomplishment into perspective — read about the potential benefits of hitting The Big 10 Percent. Congratulations on your achievement. See you next week! |
The behavior is still in there somewhere. It’s just been miniaturized.
Yesterday, after a 2 point high-fiber breakfast and a 5-point protein heavy lunch, I was so ravenous that the compulsion to eat was nightmarish. But I was 50 miles from home and didn’t have good food options. I should have gone to the local Subway, but I kept thinking, “I have better food at home.” But I couldn’t see straight, and felt a headache coming on. Thinking it was caffeine deprivation, I stopped by a convenience store and grabbed….
A diet soda and a 3-pt ice cream sandwich.
Neither was enough to stave off the headache, but more importantly, even knowing that the ice cream sandwich was a bad food choice, I didn’t go around the corner to where the 2-point granola-based snacks were, which have, over time, proven to be the best tool in my arsenal against preventing a hunger-driven binge. (Remember, the biggest trigger for me on binge eating is that I skip breakfast and and eat an inadequate lunch, and in a fit of starving madness, eat everything and then some after 7 p.m.)
When I did finally get home to my fridge full of healthy food, I wound up so beaten down that I couldn’t bring myself to make anything. I had no appetite and started reaching for things that would taste good. I could sense that this was the beginnings of a binge, when I hadn’t had one since November. AIEE!
So, I wound up eating:
- a 100-calorie Dorito pack
- a Fiber One chocolate and oats bar
- a Lean Cuisine chicken fried rice bowl (that was not nearly as good as the chicken fried rice I made the other night off the WW home page)
So yeah, I had a 10 point dinner that sucked, and in many ways, was a “minibinge” that probably contributed to why I am not feeling well today.
But I didn’t binge, per se. The trigger was there, the behavior was there, but there’s safety in having something “chocolate”-y available that’s only two points, “munchy” available that’s only 2 points. Imagine if that Fiber One bar had been a candy bar, and the 100-cal dorito pack had been a “snack” size bag with 2 1/2 servings? When I’m bingeing, I eat until it’s gone–and in this case I was saved by choices I had made before I found myself there.
The moral of this story? It’s important to eat _more_ points earlier in the day. If you’re a binge eater not on Weight Watchers, in other words, it’s the principle of a healthy breakfast and lunch setting the foundation while supper/dinner winds down the day. Also, it’s important to pre-empt the bad-day binge by buying those “comfort foods” in sensible portion sizes, replacing them outright with healthier choices when you can.
